About 6 months ago, I received a brilliant piece of advice from a friend, Stephanie. I was feeling sad and alone; she reminded me that there were friends waiting just around the corner… all I had to do was look up and ask for that helping hand when I needed it. It was true then, and I am reminded of her advice now.

Witnessing close friends back home moving on and off in their own direction stings a bit, and it left me feeling torn between two worlds. And so I walked home from the office yesterday, feeling heart-sick and alone, needing a hug and reassuring friend.

I picked up the phone and called Amanda. I am reminded that sometimes you find the best friends in the most unlikely places. In many ways, Amanda and I could not be more different, but perhaps because of that, we understand each other so well. She has quickly become one of my closest friends, confidantes and support while overseas. A quick chat later, the words “the life isn’t perfect or easy, but it’s ok” ringing in my head, and I was moving forward.

As I walked in the door, all I wanted to do was to curl up on my bed. But instead, Brenda was there, asking how my day was. I decided that a hug was more important than self-pity, that a being vulnerable was better than pretending. I told her the truth… it was ok, but I was feeling a bit down. She came over, gave me a hug, made me a cup of tea, gave me a donought she had just baked and we sat together on the couch together for a while. It was this moment of honesty and understanding when I knew I had found a friend.

Tears joined us soon. Together, we talked of relationships, of love, of marriage, of families and the general trials and tribulations of the heart. We listened to country music and the laments they describe. (Tears loves country music, and I’m sad to say that I actually enjoyed it.) By the end of the hour, I was smiling, spirits lifted.

As I walked away, the words to one of my favourite songs rang in my head: “Whenever I’m down, I call on you my friend; A helping hand you lend, in my time of need.” In the most unsuspecting of times and places, I opened up and found a friend. I felt a sense of belonging as relief and love swept over me.

That night, we celebrated the new year as a family with fanta, chips and a dance competition. When the plans were announced, Johns looked at me and asked “Is Colleen going to be watching!?” to which I replied, “No way! I’ll be dancing with you!” followed by rounds of giggles from the kids. Well I tried to dance, but was shown up by Akuzike who shook her booty like I’ve never seen before (and if you’ve seen a 2 year old shake her booty, you know it’s the most adorable thing in the world). Johns proceed to astound us with his moves, straight out of an African hip-hop music video. Frasier, like any shy and awkward 14 year, took a while to warm up, but by the end even he was swaying to and fro in time to the beat. And Stemken won the competition. In Brenda’s words “he didn’t have many moves, but he gave it his whole heart.”

And with this conclusion to the day, I fell into an exhausted sleep, full of laughter and love for unexpected friendships and helping hands.

This was my first Christmas away from home. In the days leading up to it, I walked around with a big cloud (of snow) over my head as I read about the news of snow storms and cold from back in Canada, only to be shocked by the bright sun of Africa as soon as I stepped away from my computer. Christmas is not always an easy time for my family. I’m pretty sure it’s not an easy time for anyone’s family. Expectations are high and usually two 20-something independent daughters return back from university in a blur of emotion. I don’t envy my parents. But spending this Christmas away from home has made me realize like never before how special and important my family and friends really are. I cannot thank you enough for your love, for your patience and for all the memories I carry with me.

It is with these longing thoughts for home that, on Christmas Eve, I boarded my first of 3 mini-buses from Dedza to Zomba on what would be a trying adventure ending in me despising mini-bus drivers and a journey that should have been 2 hours taking 6 (at best).

In November, Alynne, Amanda, Garret, Mike and I boarded a plane and headed for Africa after spending over a month living together. None of us went home for Christmas. So we decided to make our own Christmas here, meeting in a place called Zomba somewhere in the middle-ish of Malawi (still not 100% where it is). I arrived in Zomba, cursing bus drivers, and met Mike with a big hug. The Grinch’s heart would not have burst more than mine. I really needed a hug, and so did everyone else as they arrived after equally gruelling trips. Rounds of hugs later and our spirits were rising. They rose even more as we pilled 7 people into a cab and drove up a big mountain called the Zomba Plateau to a place aptly called the “Trout Farm.” Yep, there is a trout farm on the top of a mountain in a pine forest with log cabins somewhere in Malawi. It is times like this when I shake my head in awe and once again fall in love with another piece of this country.

We didn’t have dinner planned for Christmas Eve, so we ended up trekking a short distance to what turns out to be a 5 star glitzy resort overlooking the valley. After a big gulp at the price tag and a round of “well, it’s Christmas…” we stepped out onto the balcony of the restaurant to see a sunset and lightning storm lighting up the mountain range opposite us. Reunited with good friends, a buffet dinner like none I’d had before, a glass of wine, and much laughter… I was in heaven. Dinner, complete with salads, spices and apple pie, a jazz band and some Christmas crackers, lasted 4 hours. My bad mood had thawed with the first hug, but now I was filled with the Christmas spirit. Phone calls home to family completed my day with a big smile, and I fell into an exhausted and happy sleep.

Straight out of "White Christmas"

The requisite ridiculous toques

Milk and Cookies for Santa

I woke early the next morning to find Amanda already busy starting a fire to make coffee. (I love that I have friends that are as needy of this wonderful beverage as I am.) I had brought along a little present for everyone from the Dedza Pottery, just to make sure we all had something to open come Christmas morning. And I brought along the presents that had been sent my way from family back home. (Again, THANK YOU!) I have never seen other people so happy or excited to watch someone else open presents. The new underwear in a Nalgene bottle (curtesy of my sister) was a hit, as were the candies that got shared around and letters read aloud.

Then breakfast started in earnest. Amanda and I had devised a Christmas menu of French Toast, peanut butter, maple syrup, fresh peaches and coffee for breakfast. Apparently Garrett has discovered his calling as a French Toast chef and should pursue it as a career if all else fails.

Our Kitchen, complete with inquisitive duck

Good morning world (with great hair!)

Full from breakfast, we wandered down the mountain, through rainforests, pine forests, devastating clear-cutting of this forest, and into town.

We had to pick up the remainder of the supplies for our Christmas dinner including a live chicken. Chicken and veggies purchased, we shoved the chicken in the trunk of a cab (sorry… but what else are you supposed to do!?), shoved the 5 of us in the cab, and started back up the mountain. The dinner menu is as follows:

• Guacamole and crackers for appetizer

• Grilled chicken – prepared by Amanda and Garrett much to the amazement of us city folk
• Eggplant sautéed with green beans, onions and garlic
• Garlic mashed potatoes
• Tasty Soy Pieces (it’s what they’re called!) in fresh tomato, onion and garlic sauce

I made some mulled wine from the crappy box wine and remaining peaches and apples, and we crammed onto two tiny beds with chocolate bars and wine in hand to watch Love Actually, wearing down the precious battery power on several computers.

I miss home, I miss the snow and I miss family and friends. But if I had to spend a Christmas away from home, I can’t think of a better way to do it.

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!